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Wednesday 24 May 2017

Spiritual Parenting

On the morning of June 3 I will be teaching three seminars for young parents. The theme is "Spiritual Parenting". I am looking forward to this so much, and feel in my heart it will be one of the most important things I have done or will do in my ministry at The Mission.

There is a spiritual crisis among young people today, and the children in Christian homes are far from immune. Statistics tell us that large numbers of young people who have grown up in Christian homes and attended solid Bible believing churches all their lives are putting faith on the shelf and abandoning what we have known as a Christian lifestyle. Some of these are turning from God altogether. The stats confirm this but we don't really need them. We see it all around us

Far greater minds than mine are striving to understand the causes and the solutions for this serious problem. It's evident that neither the causes nor the solutions are straightforward, so in my seminars I will not in any way be pretending to have all the answers. What I can offer are principles, which I believe if diligently applied in Christian homes can have a significant bearing on how children deal with matters of faith and Christian living as they get older. Doing the right things in our homes does not offer any guarantees, but it does improve our chances of seeing our children grow up to love God and live lives that are pleasing to Him.

I intend to share with young parents lessons I've learned from things I did right as a parent, and maybe more importantly things I didn't do right. I will also be drawing on the writing and research of some really excellent Christian leaders and Christian parents who have authored books on the subject.

One of the reasons I am passionate about this is that when I look back on my own family and my years of parenting young children, there are some important things I didn't get right. Don't get me wrong. Both my wife and I were committed to Jesus and we had a pretty solid Christian family. We didn't succumb to many of the pitfalls that entrap or destroy families. We had a strong commitment to serving God and participating in church, and that was our practice as a family. Still, there were some rather critical things I missed.  So among all the things we'll share in these seminars are some important recommendations I wish someone had made to my wife and I while we still had time to get it right.

For example, one of the things I hope to get across loud and clear to Christian parents is this. The spiritual development of your children is YOUR responsibility. You can't delegate or deputize anyone to take it on for you. That includes the great church you attend or the wonderful children's workers in that church. Whenever possible your home must be the primary place of ministry to your children.  While the church can and should play a supportive role, it can never take the place of quality ministry that takes place in the family. 

As young children neither my wife nor I grew up in Christian homes. Christianity was not modeled for us as children and we did not have the opportunity to experience what a truly healthy Christian home could look like. We wanted that for our children and we tried. But without any guidance or instruction, most of our trying meant making sure our kids were regularly in church and Sunday School and mid week programs where the children's ministry experts would teach them all they needed to know. It was a mistake we made in ignorance and with good intentions, yet I feel without excuse when I see other parents with similar backgrounds to ours who seemed to instinctively understand what we did not.

However, the point is not to beat ourselves up. The point is that large numbers of Christian parents, even many who were raised in solid Christian homes, are right now making similar mistakes. They have failed to understand or accept that they have a God given responsibility to teach their children (both by word and example) to love God and serve Him with all their hearts. For many, even the commitment to make sure the kids are in church regularly has been eroded by other influences and other priorities. I desperately want to warn these parents of the dangers before it's too late!

This is a very challenging time for families. Children are growing up in a world where the pressures pulling them away from God are intense. It has never been more important for Christian parents to teach and support and prepare their children for life in an ungodly world. It is not possible to insulate our kids from the world they live in, but it is essential that we prepare them so they can survive and thrive in spite of being immersed in a world designed to destroy their faith. God's word makes it clear that grace is the only real answer ("I have overcome the world"), but it also clearly tells parents that we have a responsibility in partnership with the work of God.

Though I have taught these seminars before I am seeking God for the right words and presentation for THIS group of parents. I would truly appreciate your prayers in that regard. Please pray not just for me, but for the parents God wants to be part of this time of learning and challenge. I am certain that some of those God wants to be there are already feeling the pressures of other things they need or want to do that day. 

In my heart I feel few things could be more important than the principles we will be discussing on that Saturday morning, so my prayer is that parents will resolve to make this their priority for that day. For the sake of their families and their precious children. 

Wednesday 10 May 2017

GOD HAS THE BEST PLANS

It's quite common in the Gospels for Peter to act on impulse or to put his foot in his mouth. Sometimes we have good cause to shake our head, and say "Peter, maybe you should have thought that through first."

But there is an episode in Matthew where Peter ended up being rebuked rather harshly for what appears on the surface at least to be nothing more than speaking out of love and concern for Jesus. He was probably just saying what the rest of the disciples were thinking, but he was the one who spoke up. And he paid the price.

Here's the passage from the NLT (Matthew 16: 21 - 23)

From then on Jesus began to tell his disciples plainly that it was necessary for him to go to Jerusalem, and that he would suffer many terrible things at the hands of the elders, the leading priests, and the teachers of religious law. He would be killed, but on the third day he would be raised from the dead. But Peter took him aside and began to reprimand him for saying such things. “Heaven forbid, Lord,” he said. “This will never happen to you!” Jesus turned to Peter and said, “Get away from me, Satan! You are a dangerous trap to me. You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God’s.”

I can only imagine the shock on Peter's face, being on the receiving end of this really stern response from Jesus, when I'm pretty sure he spoke out with only the best of intentions. I'm absolutely certain he had no idea he was falling into Satan's hands by trying to dissuade Jesus from the difficult path He had to take. What I hear in Jesus' words is "What I have to do is difficult enough for me already. Don't make it harder by trying to talk me out of it. That's what Satan wants, not God."

Two very important things are happening here.
  1. Peter isn't trying to do or say something wrong. He means well and he's just saying what seems right to him. 
  2. What seemed good and right to Peter, and absolutely could have been the right thing in other circumstances, was not consistent with what God wanted in this particular time and place. 

Clearly then it's possible for us to speak or act with right motives, doing what seems right to us, but be in opposition to what God wants in that situation. If it can happen to Peter, surely it can happen to us. 

The Bible addresses this issue in Isaiah 55: 8 - 9.
“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
    “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so my ways are higher than your ways
    and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

This is a dilemma. If we can't trust ourselves to be right, even when we have good motives and a sincere desire to do the right thing, what do we do? The answer is simple, but not always easy. We need to ask the Holy Spirit of God, who lives within us, to bring our thoughts into line with His. We need to ask God to reveal His plans, His desires, His will.

If we can fault Peter for anything in this story, it's that he spoke what seemed good and right to him without first giving time and attention to discerning what was good and right to God. That's where we often fail as well. We can come down on the side of what seems good to us at the time. Our conclusions or decisions may be guided by love and by good moral thinking and by a righteous confidence. But if we haven't spent time waiting on God, to know His will, we can still be out of line with God's higher purpose or plan for a specific situation.  

I suppose my conclusion is that no matter how much we have grown in God, no matter how wise and well intentioned we are, we will never reach a point where we can presume to know God's will without asking. Moving ahead with the best intentions, without honestly and diligently consulting God, may result in us taking actions or speaking words that are out of line with what God wants at that moment or in that circumstance. Human wisdom and pure motives are never good substitutes for an understanding of God's will.

So next time you find yourself moving ahead in a way that is wise and moral and loving, and you have only the best in your heart, make sure you've hit the pause button long enough to consult with God and hear His voice. Better to be in tune with God's plan than to rely on our own wisdom and good intentions.