Last week we looked at Peter and his denial of Jesus on the night of the crucifixion. More importantly we considered how Jesus didn't reject Peter, but reached out to restore him and set him back on track. If you haven't read last week's blog I encourage you to do so.

One of the key lessons for me in this story is something we haven't touched on yet. It has to do with Peter's attitude. As we read the account in scripture of Peter's denial, all of the Gospels tell us the same thing about Peter's reaction when he realized how badly he had failed Jesus. He wept bitterly.

In that moment Peter was overwhelmed by his failure.  He had promised to stand at Jesus side, but when the time of testing came he denied he even knew Jesus. In the aftermath of his failure he didn't just shrug it off with, "Oh well, I'll do better next time." He was totally distraught in his shame. And it wasn't just a momentary thing.  In the days following Jesus' resurrection Peter was a changed man. In the depths of his despair, feeling dejected and outcast, he finally said, "I'm going fishing."  

During those days we see a different Peter than what we've been used to. Instead of the brash, self confident Peter we see someone who is unable to shake the feelings of guilt and despair caused by his own failings.  His return to fishing seemed to be his acknowledgement that his life as a trusted friend and follower of Jesus was over. In his mind Jesus couldn't possibly want him anymore. Peter couldn't have been more wrong, but let's get to that in a moment.

Let's focus first on this. Peter's overwhelming remorse was all because of his tremendous love for Jesus and his powerful desire to serve Him well. It's that love and desire to please Jesus that made his failure so painful. That's why he cared so much. That caring is something we ought to emulate.  

When we fail in our Christian life, as we all do at times, how do we feel?  Is it a casual "oh well", or are we broken-hearted because we have disappointed the God we love and serve?  When we disappoint Jesus are we overcome with shame, or are we able to dismiss it without much thought?  

Consider this.  Is our response in times of failure a reflection of how much we care?  Is it an indication of how desperate we are to please the one who loved so much that He gave everything for us?

I'm not suggesting we should go on and on wallowing in guilt and despair. Jesus showed his love by restoring Peter and He will do the very same thing for us if we ask.  What I am suggesting is that if our failures in serving God don't really impact us, if we can disappoint God without really caring all that much, perhaps we need to take a look inside. Most of us began our Christian life with a powerful desire to serve God and to please Him.  Has that waned?  Do we care as much as we used to?

I'm going to leave you with that thought and we'll continue on this topic next week.