EAGER TO SERVE

I'm going to get a bit personal today. I'm going to let you see into myself a bit in the hope it may be useful to you in some way.

Something really caught my attention as I was reading my Bible this morning.  In the book of Haggai, the prophet is challenging Zerubbabel (governor of Judah) and Joshua (the high priest) about the need to rebuild the temple.  In Haggai 2:3 he asks a very interesting question.  

"Who of you is left who saw this house in its former glory? How does it look to you now?"

Wow! What a question!  As I read this verse I thought we could apply it to the "Church" in a broad sense, meaning the general Christian population.  We could apply it to a local congregation.  Or we could apply it to our ourselves as individuals. I always think spiritual challenges begin with ourselves.

I go through periods of time when a particular issue is a priority in my thinking and I tend to see everything through that prism. Lately it's been two things for me. Trusting God, and the state of my personal relationship with God. This verse in Haggai is speaking to me right where my mind is at these days.

There are some aspects of my spiritual life where I feel I have been growing over the years. I have such a long way to go, and there are lots of things I continue to struggle with, but in some ways I feel I am more mature spiritually than I was years ago. That's the good news.

On the other hand I look back over my life and wonder if there weren't times when I had a greater zeal for God. I can see times when my desire to please God and to serve Him were the most important things in my life. I can honestly say at those times I would do whatever He asked me to do. Is that where I am today? The words of Haggai challenge me to look back on where I used to be and compare it to today.

Certainly age makes a difference. In my sixties I don't have quite the energy or the brashness of my younger days, when I was ready and eager to take on any challenge. On the other hand, I am also not ready for "the home" just yet, and there are still lots of areas where I can be productive in serving God. 

Now here's where I want to be careful to express myself very clearly. I am not trying to put you (or me, for that matter) on a guilt trip where we always feel like what we are doing is not good enough and we must be doing more, more, more.  I am also not encouraging us to compare ourselves to others so that we feel badly we are are not doing as much as that other person. I simply have a question that I am asking of myself, and of you. Am I as eager and willing as I once was to do whatever God asks me personally to do? 

God knows all about my age, energy, health, abilities, etc.. He doesn't ask me or anyone do something beyond what they are able, or what He is going to enable them to do. He is not likely to ask me to do the same things He did when I was thirty-five. On the other hand I do have time and resources and abilities that He can use. When He asks for them am I willing, even anxious, to give - like I used to be?

At this moment I am comfortable that I am doing exactly what God has called me to do. It feels right for this point in my life and I don't have any sense inside that I'm holding back. Except in this. I don't find myself waking each day with an anxiousness to serve God, asking Him "Lord, How can I serve you today? What more can I do to make my life count?"

I used to do that. I was never satisfied, always feeling like I could serve God more or better. Today I am more comfortable than that and I wonder sometimes if it's a problem.

Pleasing God is not about running around doing stuff He never intended for us to do, or feeling guilty that we're not doing more. It is about being able to say "I am certain in my heart that I am living and serving exactly as God would have me do today." 

I'm actually feeling pretty okay about myself as far as that goes. My question for me is more along these lines. If tomorrow God asks for something more or different or bigger, am I zealous enough to say "Lord, whatever you want." I used to be. The words of Haggai are causing me to examine my heart.